My birthday is right before New Year's Eve, so it’s a new year for me in two ways. Maybe that’s why I used to put so much pressure on myself around the time of my birthday.
I don’t mind at all that my birthday is near the holidays. When I was growing up, my family always did a great job giving me separate presents and celebrations for each occasion. I always felt that having my birthday right before the new year helped ease the post-Christmas let down.
Yet since I was a teenager, for those few days between Christmas and my birthday, I often would find myself reflecting deeply on who I am, who I want to be, my purpose in life, what I want to accomplish, and how I want to contribute.
I gave up resolutions long ago (see my Resolution Redo post for what I tend to do instead). There’s nothing wrong with them. I just find that a different approach works better for me. I like to determine who I want to be in order to live my Dharma (purpose). Once I know this piece, I consistently consider what goals I want to set and what actions I need to take throughout the year.
Some people call it a theme for the year. In yoga, we call it Sankalpa, an intention. You might have heard your teacher invite you to set an intention at the beginning of a posture practice. If you’ve just rushed from work to get to class, your intention might be simply to relax. If you’re really tired, you might set an intention just to make it through the class.
And guess what? You usually feel better after class. You usually make it through class.
There’s no need to limit your intention setting to your yoga class though.
Practicing Sankalpa in and of itself can be a powerful exercise and can change your life in deep and meaningful ways. With consistent practice, intentions can add up.
You see, resolutions come from the mind and a sense of scarcity. The assumption behind a resolution is that you are not good enough as you are, so you need to lose the weight, balance in handstand away from the wall, jump out of an airplane, find your soul mate, do 100 squats per day, etc. Now, there’s nothing wrong with doing these things and with having aspirations. When the ego relies on them to feel good and says that you’re not ok unless you do them, then suffering can happen, especially if they end up being like most resolutions—unfulfilled.
Instead, Sankalpa comes from the heart. Your true spiritual intentions come from a place of wholeness and desire to fulfill your Dharma. The assumption behind Sankalpa is that you already have enough and you are enough. Fulfilling a Sankalpa becomes a matter of focusing the mind, practice, and detachment.
Take the example of setting an intention to feel better at the beginning of class. If you get caught up in the mind and ego, you might start comparing yourself to others and thinking that you’re not good enough unless your poses look like someone else’s. You might put pressure on yourself to do poses you might not be ready to do and get injured. Conversely, you might be afraid to do your best in a pose because of how you look. Are you going to feel better? Probably not.
Instead, if you set your intention to feel better from your heart and let go of the ego’s chatter about how things “should” be, then you are much more likely to feel better at the end of class. If you simply focus on your own practice, you can let go of the comparisons that might drive you to make poor decisions in your practice. You’ll be able to let go of the need to push too hard or not enough, and allow yourself to receive the most benefit from the class.
When you open your heart and surrender to what the Divine has in store for you, you find the gifts of your Sankalpa.
Now, if Sankalpa can do that for a yoga class, imagine what it could do for your life!
When you connect your Sankalpa to your Dharma, magic can happen. You magnify your ability to manifest your intention and purpose. You can let go of what others think, and find motivation to do the hard things in service to your intention and purpose in life. When you’re in a moment of choice, you can come back to your Sankalpa and Dharma to make a decision with your intention and purpose in your mind.
Instead of achieving goals that are based on your ego’s need to feel secure, only to find that the ego still feels insecure after you achieve the goal, with Sankalpa you can live more purposefully, and at the same time, let go and allow things to unfold for your highest good.
It doesn’t mean that you don’t work or try to develop yourself. Your pose is perfect as it is, and, you are perfect as you are. AND. You can enjoy more benefit from the pose when you refine the alignment, just as you can find more joy out of your life by engaging in and developing it.
The first step to setting an intention instead of a resolution is to clear the path to your heart. When you let go of your ego’s idea of what you should and should not be doing and of that inner critic that tells you you’re not good enough, only then can you hear the heart’s intentions. As you re-establish your connection to your deepest self and to your heart, Sankalpa helps you discover and fulfill your innermost desires based on your True Self, rather than what your ego wants.
Sankalpa helps you understand that when you start from a place of perfection, no matter how much progress you do or don’t make, you are moving in the right direction. I know it sounds counterintuitive. When you apply the principles of yoga, even something the ego perceives of as “bad” or as a failure, can help you fulfill your intention and purpose.
Speak Your Truth
What rituals do you have for starting a new year? How do you set intentions for yourself? How can you incorporate the practice of Sankalpa in your life? What is your deepest intention for 2020? I am a total geek about rituals, so let me know below in the comments!
Happy Happy New Year!
In wellness, joy, and intention,
Tami